“They’ll say you’re stupid or crazy. People will roll their eyes at you and think you’ve gone off the deep end. If you fail, all of these people will see you and know you weren’t capable. I’m going to lose my reputation.” These are all thoughts I’ve had while finding myself and following my dreams. These thoughts are rooted in fears. The fear of being judged, different, or mocked are worries I have when facing my fears. Although I want to stand out, my internal instinct is to blend in. Fear is something we’ve all encountered. It has probably stopped us in our tracks too. But what if, instead of trying to fight it, we turn into that skid and gain control?
What Fighting Your Fears Does
Healthy fears are ones that can stop you dead in your tracks. When you fight your fears, you give them power. This power allows them to grow and take control. But what if, instead of losing control, you steer into the skid? When you have an irrational emotional response to something, it’s probably deeply rooted in fear. But if you face your fears, then you’re headed to something worthwhile. Something that your gut and soul want you to pursue. And if you do fail the first time, then get back up and at it again. Fear of failure shouldn’t be something you mourn over, but something you celebrate. When you fail, it allows you to learn lessons and become an expert in what you’re pursuing. So don’t think of it as failing, but as lessons learned! In the words of Thomas Edison
I haven’t failed, I found 1,000 ways that won’t work.
You Might Not Be Facing Your Fears If
I’m also guilty of some of these, so don’t fret! But if you’re constantly looking for other’s approval or worrying about things, well then, you maybe avoiding facing your fears. Some signs you may need to face your fears are you:
- Seek others approval
- Worry about what others think
- Keep your head up in the clouds with your dreams
- Feel burnout and exhausted
- Are doing things others expect of you
- Staying up at night thinking about “What If”
- Have too much on your plate (and you’re not enjoying it)
- Feel selfish or that you’re asking too much of others
Continually avoiding your fears can run you down quickly. But do you really want to live to the end of your life with regrets? And I’m not talking about regrets of failing, but ‘What Ifs’? I was listening to the Rise podcast yesterday on my drive to work and the guest, David Bach, made a great point:
What if you lived like you had 3 years left
Maybe it’s because I worked hospice for a short while, but I felt like my insides were screaming “YESSSS!”
Live the Life You Want To Live
Now, I’m not saying quit your 9-5 and going for something less stressful or stable. But if you’re craving a job change, you aren’t too old, too dumb, too inexperienced. Start working a side gig that feels better aligned to you. Take a watercolor class if you’re wanting to sell watercolor paintings. Whatever that inner calling is saying to you, take a step TODAY to start pursing that.
I get many people who are afraid to start eating healthier. They’re afraid they won’t like the food or they’ll feel like they’re starving. But when making a lifestyle change like healthy eating, remember, it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change. If you’re eating plants and feeling hungry, eat more plants! You’re less likely to overeat on them and get that stuffed, horrible feeling. Or maybe you think you don’t like plants. Remember, it’s going to take a couple weeks for your taste buds to change. Start out by taking your favorite meals and turning them plant based.
You may be afraid to start exercising. 30 minutes a day seems like a lot, but it doesn’t have to be full blown cardio. Running around with your kids, kicking a soccer ball, and going for a walk all count towards those 30 minutes. Anything that gets your heart rate up counts my friend! Especially when you’re a beginner.
Maybe you’re afraid of these or any of the above because you’ll lose friends or feel shunned. But living a life more aligned with your own will attract the right people to you. You don’t have to drop and leave all your friends, but you’ll find more people in alignment with your values and who support your life goals.
Some Questions to Ask Yourself
- What does my life look like in one year if I allow this fear to hold me back?
- What does my life look like in one year if I face this fear?
- What steps can I take to face this fear?
- How am I going to feel once I face this fear?
- What’s holding me back from facing this fear?
“The only trick in life is to be grateful for your highs and graceful with your lows.”
– George Pransky
What’s holding YOU back from facing your fears? Let me know what you plan to pursue in the comments below or over on Instagram or Facebook!
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